Chapter 4 of “the book”

Here’s the newest chapter of the book I’m writing which was inspired by my recent realizations. I hope you get something from it. I welcome all thoughts and comments. Remember this is pure form of it…no editing…just pure writing.

Chapter 4: Come from a Place of Love instead of Fear

Finding, developing, and creating your healthy lifestyle doesn’t have to be this stressful process. It isn’t about deprivation or following a set of rules. It’s about finding you. Taking where you are, where you want to go, and then deciding how you want to get there. Weight loss/achieving any goal doesn’t have to be stressful, chaotic, negative, or this grueling process. Yes, it takes work to change anything about yourself and body…BUT if you come from a good place, each and every day, it can actually be an enjoyable process. I know some of you are thinking, “Weight loss? How in God’s name can weight loss be an enjoyable process…are you crazy?”


Hear me out.

Ask yourself how you got to the place you are at now (mentally, physically, emotionally)? Chances are, it’s because you have completely disregarded your body, happiness, believing in yourself, your dreams, your goals, and  instead you’ve completely come from a place of fear. I’m not talking about being afraid of the dark. I’m taking about deep-rooted mental fears. The fear of not being enough, fear of not being pretty or attractive, fear of change, fear of gaining weight, fear of having no control, fear of being judged, or maybe just an overall fear of not being enough or of not being worth it.

Nothing good can happen when you come from a place of fear. Think of a time when you came from fear and something amazing came out of it. I will be waiting here….

Okay, stop thinking because I’m almost positive you won’t come up with an example. Let’s keep talking about fear. Fear holds us back. Fear keeps us stagnant and stuck. Fear makes us do things like restrict, deprive, over indulge, over exercise, under eat, under exercise, go go go, beat ourselves up, and then project our fear into the outside world which in terms affects those in our lives. Stop being afraid. Fear is an allusion. It is not real.

When we come from a loving place and/or a place of positivity, much better outcomes can enter our lives. The way we think affects the way we act and speak. The way we act and speak affects the outside world. What type of impact do you want to have on yourself and others? Fear breads fear. Fear is a prison. Love breads love. Love is freedom. So, which do you choose?

You cannot come from a place of love and fear. It is one or the other.  This is a lesson that I learned from the book, “Spirit Junkie” by Gabrielle Bernstein. If you look deep into your feelings, emotions, thoughts and decisions, you’ll start to notice which are coming from a place of love, and which are coming from a place of fear. Acknowledging and being aware of when you are coming from a place of love and when you are coming from a place of fear is the first step. A great quote in the book says, “If it doesn’t come from love, it isn’t real.” I’ve decided a mantra of mine is, “If it doesn’t come from a place of love, I will not think it, say it, do it, or believe it”.

When you come from a place of love, it doesn’t mean you are this super mental cheerleader who thinks everything is perfect in the world and that everything is super easy and GO TEAM! No, that’s fake. And I can say that because I was a cheerleader in high school, so I am by no means dissing cheerleaders. I digress.  Coming from a place of love means believing in yourself and others, coming from a light and positive heart, and staying peaceful within your mind and heart. Yes, tough moments in our lives happen. Rough situations present themselves. And we will have a “bad day” every once in a while. BUT it’s our perspective that matters. BREATHE. Rough times pass. Sad feelings come and go. Nothing in this life is permanent (some would argue, except for death). When you allow emotions, feelings, and experiences to enter your life, know that they will pass. BREATHE. This too shall pass. Whenever I am having a rough day, or feel like I am tired of trying, or feel like the world seems not to be on my side, I tell myself that this feeling will pass. That’s the reality of it. This too shall pass. When people hurt your feelings, acknowledge the sadness, knowing that it too shall pass. Nothing in life is permanent. There is a beauty in that statement that may help you to come from a place of love.

Why creating your own healthy lifestyle is so important is because you realize you are the one controlling it. When you are the driver behind the wheel, you decide which roads to go down, which route is best for you, and how you want to get there. Feel the freedom. You are the driver. You decide.  If there is a road blocked off, or traffic, you simple pick another route…another path…another solution. There is nothing to get stressed out about. Stress, my friends, happens when we come from a place of fear. Remember, we are coming from a place of love. Keep calm, breathe, know that this a temporary moment, and that more positive ones lie ahead of us. Phone a friend, laugh at the silliness of the situation, and redirect your thoughts to something that makes you feel all warm and fuzzy. There is your place of love.

Exercise: Write down all of the things you would do if you weren’t afraid. Confront your fears, get to know them, and think about where the heck they came from. Write it all down. Only then will you be able to move on and come from a place of love and positivity.

Thanks for reading! 🙂



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